Decades after answering machines show up on the scene and years after cell phones have become mainstream, why are we still burdened with instructions on how to leave a voicemail on a cell phone?

Nearly every cell phone has a set of instructions from the provider that you have to sit through after already hearing the person your calling explain what to do after the beep. Aren’t two sets of instructions on top of an already socialized populace (i.e., we know what the beep means; so much so that characters in movies suggest we “know what to do”) unnecessary?

A friend RKP, and I to a lesser extent, have requested Cingular remove the woman’s instructions that follow our beep. They say it’s not possible and that, because people aren’t used to cell phones, they need instructions. Um, voicemail is voicemail is voicemail. (Also, there was a short moment in time that RKP found success; apparently his voicemail account was moved to another server, although we’re not sure how to duplicate this).

Now, RKP, through the options menus in his voicemail account, has switched this woman’s instructions to be in Spanish (Note: We don’t speak Spanish). I like it and think it’s an effective signal highlighting the voicemail instruction absurdity.

Alternative strategies could include having no personalized message (i.e., recording a second of silence) so that callers jump into the company provided instructions. Or, and as I have done, select one of the messages your provider, well, provides and they will not include the standard instructions; apparently, they think their voicemail messages offer more guidance than yours ever could.

Make like a shoe company with labor problems and just do it.